


hang the moon, high and bright and full

by thingsaboutstories (miaoujones)



Category: Free!
Genre: Alternate Timeline, Friendship, Frottage, Holding Hands, Love Confessions, M/M, Making Out, Rape Recovery, Reconciliation
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-08-31
Updated: 2013-11-11
Packaged: 2017-12-25 06:03:24
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,284
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/949502
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/miaoujones/pseuds/thingsaboutstories
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Series of vignettes recounting Rei and Makoto's courtship, focusing on some of their "firsts" inside and outside the bedroom.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. ~ the first time rei tells makoto how he feels ~

**Author's Note:**

> While this is set in the same storyverse as "[the moon in the sky and the stars twinkling all around](http://archiveofourown.org/works/939610)," I'm trying to write it in a way that makes it unnecessary to have read that one first. These vignettes will all be Rei’s POV; he wasn't privy to the events in "the moon in the sky" and is piecing things together here, so it's my hope that everything important will be revealed to the reader that way as well. If you do decide to check out the other fic, please be sure to read the warnings/tags.

Rei doesn't know exactly when he began to feel this way about Makoto: there is no single definable moment of falling. 

He does know that he's felt this way for some time and he also knows exactly when he realized it. It was on an afternoon at Haru's a few weeks ago, when that old friend of theirs had shown up and asked someone to hit him, saying only that it had to do with Makoto. That was all it had taken for Rei to step forward, fully prepared to do it even though he didn't know Rin and he's never been in a fight or thrown a punch in his life. Makoto, who had been quieter than usual for a few days, hadn't let Rei or anyone else hit Rin, instead taking Rin outside to talk for a while.

By the time Makoto came back inside, Rei knew he felt differently about him than he did about his other friends, differently than he's ever felt about anyone.

He hasn't confessed yet but he's going to. The question has been how to do it. Since he has never been on either side of a confession personally, he has been doing research. His first idea came from anime. It's always done the same way in anime and it always works out, so Rei thought that must be how to do it: he would leave a note in Makoto's shoe locker, asking to meet him outside after school; then stand in front of him, eyes closed and head bowed, and forcefully say, "I really like you, please accept my feelings!," maybe even with a double exclamation mark.

But when he checked online to make sure that was right, he found out that's not how anyone outside of anime actually confesses. So he's been reading through forums and message boards to get ideas. Most people said to do it through friends: either have one of your friends talk to the person you like and find out if they like you back or go to the person's friends yourself to find out the same. This is not an option for Rei, though: his friends are also Makoto's friends, which seems like it should make things easier but in fact only complicates them.

Besides, someone on one of the message boards had said, "If you're a total badass, you'll tell them you like them in person regardless of what the outcome might be, and have the strength to brush it off if it's not favorable."

Rei has decided on the badass approach. 

Or rather, his mouth has decided for him: when he ran into Makoto in town just now and Makoto asked what he was up to, Rei heard himself say he was going down to the ocean for a walk. He'd reached up to adjust his glasses, the span of his hand covering as much of his face as he could in case of a blush outbreak as he asked if Makoto would like to come along, but it hadn't been necessary and he'd dropped his hand when Makoto casually agreed. 

So here they are, walking on the beach at sunset. 

It could not be more perfect if Rei had planned every detail. 

That's why he has to seize this chance, no matter what.

He takes a deep breath as he comes to a stop, the rush of air stirring the wings of the butterflies in his belly. "Makoto." When Makoto stops, too, and turns to him, Rei takes another deep breath. "I like you." He means to hold Makoto's gaze but it turns out his eyes are not nearly as badass as his mouth and they slide away. "I really like you," he says, softer than he means to, though they're standing close enough that he's sure his words are nevertheless reaching Makoto. "I have for a while. Please go out with me." 

He looks back when he feels Makoto's hand on his head, fingers ruffling his hair. "You're just feeling this way because of what happened at summer training camp," Makoto says with a kind smile. "I'm not even the one who saved you in the end."

The hand slides from him when Rei shakes his head adamantly. "No, that's not it. I've given this very careful consideration, so please listen to my confession seriously and—and accept my feelings."

Makoto doesn't say anything but he also doesn't look away, so Rei goes on: "I've felt like this since before that." He doesn't say he's felt this way since they first met because he's not sure that's true. Anyhow, he doesn't think it's important when exactly he began to feel like this; the feelings themselves are the important part, so that's what he focuses on: "Everything is more beautiful when you're around. Everything in the world...and me, too." 

He doesn't try to hide the flush he feels rise to his face. "I don't mean I'm beautiful to look at," he says, brow furrowing. "But inside... Even when you were all trying to teach me how to swim—all of you took my hands at one point, but it was different with you. I felt it inside, even if I didn't know what it was at the time." He still doesn't know what that feeling was, not exactly, but he does know this: "I want to do that again—I want to hold hands with you. I want to feel that again..." 

It's not enough and Rei tenses as the right words elude him, the butterflies in his stomach going still and tight, his hands fluttering inarticulately as he tries to describe the indescribable. 

Or maybe his hands are wordlessly articulate, because Makoto says slowly, looking off, "Could it be... are you saying that I hung the moon for you?"

Rei relaxes all over, inside and out. With a deep sigh, he smiles: "Yes. That's exactly it."

Makoto continues to look off. As expected of him, he's giving this the careful consideration Rei asked for, and so Rei prepares himself to calmly accept whatever answer he receives now.

"All right," Makoto says then. With a deep breath of his own, he turns and looks at Rei, the soft radiance of his smile warming Rei's face. "I'll go out with you. If we can take it slow."

"Of course." Rei basks in his smile, his words. His own smile fades only a little as he asks seriously, "Do you think we could hold hands on the first date?"

He regrets the question immediately, dismayed at how stupid it sounds—but Makoto turns his hand palm-up in the space between them. When Rei only looks at it, Makoto's brow arches. "No?"

The butterflies in his stomach take wing again, their slow and elegant flutters sending a thrilling sigh through Rei. "Yes~" Rei takes his hand, fingers interlacing and shifting as they find the right fit, stepping to Makoto's side with a smile as they begin walking along the beach at sunset on their first date.


	2. ~ the first time they see rin since that afternoon at haru's ~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _In order to get myself going on this one again, I'm going to be posting chapters out of order, starting with this one. If you're down with non-linear narratives, I'm very happy to have you on this journey with me! If you'd rather wait until it's complete and I've either reordered it or created a linear index, that's perfectly fine as well. Right now there are 16 chapters mapped out, though that could change._

It was a while before Makoto told Rei he goes to a therapist. They'd been making out on Rei's bed when Rei had shifted to straddle him as he rolled Makoto onto his back, and Makoto had gone breathless. Not in the good and beautiful way he makes Rei breathless; there had been a stillness to it that had made a chill run along the back of Rei's neck, and he'd wondered if Makoto was feeling such a chill throughout his body. 

He'd shifted himself off immediately and started to apologize but cut himself off when Makoto shook his head. Makoto sat up, took his hand, and Rei had wanted to hold Makoto's hand in both of his but he'd contented himself with just the one. 

That's when Makoto told him about the therapy sessions. He'd seemed shy but not embarrassed, clear-eyed when he'd looked up. "I just wanted you to know it won't always be like this." He'd tilted his head as he studied Rei's face. "Are you mad I didn't tell you sooner?"

Rei shook his head. He tightened his fingers around Makoto’s. “I meant it when I said I’m happy just holding hands with you, and I’d be happy if that was all you ever wanted. I want to be with you, no matter what, for as long as you want to be with me.”

Makoto had dropped his eyes, smiling the smile that Rei has come to know means, _"This is a good moment right here,"_ and even sometimes, _"I like you a lot, Rei."_ He hoped he hadn't flattered himself that it meant both on this occasion.

Rei had wanted to say more: how he wasn't mad about anything, how he was happy Makoto was doing something good for himself, how he was also happy that Makoto trusted him enough to tell him this; but Makoto had kissed him then, and even though it was a kiss without tongue, Rei had still lingered in it for a moment long enough to carry him past words.

So now some days, not every week but on some days, Rei goes to pick up Makoto after his appointment. There's a waiting room upstairs, right outside the therapist's office, but Rei prefers to wait outside the building; that way the space inside is all Makoto's for himself.

He's early today, as usual. He likes to be early just in case. As he comes up to the building, he sees someone else waiting outside, sitting on the ground. Usually Rei is the only one waiting out here like this but he doesn't think much of it.

Until he realizes he has recognized the person sitting on the ground.

He pushes himself off the wall he's just leaned against and strides over before he knows what he's doing. 

Matsuoka Rin adjusts the brim of his baseball cap as he looks up at Rei. It's the first time Rei has seen him since the afternoon he showed up at Haru's, a few weeks before Rei had confessed to Makoto. He'd been willing to hit Rin even then—

Before Rin can say anything, Rei says, "If you still want someone to hit you, I'll do it now." 

Rin doesn't say anything a first. He looks away. Rei begrudgingly gives him credit for looking back. "He told you?"

"No. I figured it out." Makoto hasn't said anything else to Rei about why he goes to therapy but it's pretty obvious. And there's no escaping the conclusion that Rin is the one responsible (although Rei will admit it took him a while to put it all together: given the timing of that day, at first he'd thought Makoto and Rin had only had has some sort of fight related to the swim team or maybe Haru; but no).

Rin nods. Rei takes a step back to give him room as he gets to his feet, dusting himself off. "You're Ryugazaki, right?" When Rei acknowledges it, Rin nods again. "You can hit me and I won't fight back," he says, stepping away from the building, putting his hands behind his back. "I know I deserve it, and more. But let's do this before Makoto comes out..." He doesn't finish the sentence.

He doesn't have to: Rei knows Makoto wouldn't want this. He doesn't know everything inside Makoto but he knows that much.

So he drops the arm he's pulled back, unclenching his fist. 

Rin looks at him another moment before letting his hands fall from behind him. He doesn't sit down again but he does move to lean against the wall.

After a moment, Rei does too; not right next to him but not back on the other side where he usually waits for Makoto.

So when Makoto comes out moments later, he has to look around before he sees Rei. Breaking into a wide grin, he starts over, the smile and the footsteps faltering only momentarily when his curious gaze goes to the person behind Rei and he clearly recognizes Rin. 

"Hey," Makoto says as he gets to them. "Hi."

"Hey, Makoto," Rin says. He puts his hands in his pockets and steps back. "Listen, I'm sorry. I had to switch days this week because of the tournament. I didn't realize our hours were going to be back-to-back...I should have texted you."

Rei feels his brows arch in surprise that they've kept in touch at all, which is what he thinks this means. Makoto misses it, though, his attention on Rin. "It's okay," he says, hints of hard angles to his words. Then, softer, "You look good." 

Rin accepts it, offers a half-grin back. "I'm feeling pretty all right these days." 

Makoto asks him how he's feeling about the upcoming tournament and they start to talk swimming, and Rei feels like there's a tug of something else beneath the swimming talk. He's wondering if maybe he should wander away, not out of sight but just to give them space, when Makoto lets his arm shift ever so slightly as he talks about his chances in the 200m back, fingers spread in invitation, and Rei slots his own fingers into place between them.

Nodding as he listens, Rin's gaze is drawn down by the movement. He looks away but not far enough to hide the full curve of his mouth. He says something under his breath that's almost inaudible; Rei thinks it sounds like a soft, "good." 

A trace of the smile is there when he looks back, and something else in his eyes that Rei can't quite read. 

"I don't want to keep you. I need to get up there anyhow," he says, jerking his chin towards the second floor window Rei usually waits beneath. "It was good to see you though," he says as he starts around them; he's past them when he adds, "Really good."

"Rin..."

Rei turns to Makoto; Rin looks at Makoto when he turns back too. No one says anything right away and again Rei has a sense of intruding—but Makoto is holding onto his hand and so Rei holds on back, although he does avert his gaze.

"My parents are taking the twins to Tokyo the weekend after next. So. So maybe you could come over and hang out with us..."

"You and Rei?"

"Haru and Nagisa, too," Makoto says; the four of them, spearheaded by Nagisa, have been planning this weekend since they heard about the Tokyo trip. 

"Yeah, okay." Rin cocks his head. "Will my sister be there?" The grin inching up his face turns wry as he says, "It's just that, if she's there and I don't bring Seijuuro, I'm likely to catch hell..."

"Bring him," Makoto says. "Bring your other Samezuka friends, if you want."

"Yeah, okay," Rin says again; adds thoughtfully, "My roommate anyhow, maybe."

"I'll text you the details," Makoto says. 

Rin nods and then has to be going, a few minutes late to his appointment now, cutting Makoto off with a "no worries" grin before Makoto can apologize.

As they start walking, Makoto squeezes Rei's hand before letting go. Even before Makoto says there's somewhere he wants to go, Rei knows they aren't headed towards the station. He nods, doesn't ask where they're going, just goes with Makoto.

They come to a footpath that splits from the main road, leading towards the shoreline. When they reach the sea wall, Makoto hoists himself up and gazes out. Rei sits next to him.

After a wordless while, Rei says softly, prepared to jump down, "Do you want to be alone?"

Makoto shakes his head, chest rising and falling with each thick, shaky breath.

It's another wordless while before Makoto holds his hand palm up on the wall between them. Rei takes it. 

They hold hands, watching the easy swell and roll of the tide, shimmering in the late afternoon sunlight.


	3. ~ the first time they come together like this ~

They’re in Makoto’s room, on his bed, shirtless, kissing and touching each other, and this time instead of just undoing his jeans to relieve the pressure, Makoto says, "I'm going to take them off, okay? And—and you can too, if you want." By now Rei has figured out that asking Makoto if he’s sure only makes Makoto second-guess himself, and the last thing Rei wants is to be a cause of doubt for him. So he nods and strips out of his jeans too, and now they’re lying together in only their underwear, which is the most naked they’ve been with each other yet.

Makoto doesn’t seem to have a problem with being looked at so Rei allows himself a moment to admire his body. Makoto especially doesn’t seem to have a problem with Rei looking at his face, which is Rei’s favorite part of him, so he lingers there until Makoto can’t help breaking out into a smile; lingers longer until the smile doesn’t fade but softens, and Rei keeps his eyes open just until their lips touch; his mouth opens for Makoto even as his eyes flutter shut.

As they resume making out, Makoto slides his leg up, hooks it over Rei’s hip, drawing him closer, encouraging Rei to grind against him, arching into it himself. Rei holds back his moans because the heat and sweet friction of their cocks sliding against each other through their underwear is making Makoto mewl unselfconsciously, and therefore shamelessly, and there is little more beautiful to Rei than an unashamed Makoto.

Usually when he’s close Makoto will roll onto his back and put his hands down his pants to push himself over the edge that way, and Rei will do the same—but this time Makoto only presses closer, reaches between them to free himself, presses even closer and comes against him.

Rei’s primal instinct is to roll him over, to gaze at him from above as he grinds down and comes himself—but Makoto has always frozen up when he’s wound up on the bottom; frozen up and then apologized, and Rei doesn’t want that, ever, and especially not now in this beautiful moment, this beautiful feeling…

So instead he rolls them so he’s on his back, Makoto above him; he gazes up, arches up, doesn’t know whether to say “okay?” or “please”; doesn’t have to say anything because Makoto rolls his hips, presses his naked, softening cock and the wet warmth of his spilled come against Rei, and Rei clutches at his arms, moans his name, comes himself.

Makoto stays over him a moment longer, his gaze so soft and beautiful, and Rei can only hope he’s a fraction as beautiful to Makoto as Makoto is to him; and in that gaze, he knows he is.

Then Makoto dips to kiss him, shifts to the side, coaxing Rei to roll onto his side too as they continue to kiss. Rei wants to thank Makoto after the kiss but Makoto breaks it and says it first: “Thank you, Rei. Thank you.”

Rei shakes his head, not in rejection or denial, just trying to clear his head because there’s so much; not too much, or if it is too much, he wants all of it. He wants to say the words this time…but he also wants it to be perfect when he says them; he wants to be sure, not that Makoto will say them back, but that Makoto will be able to accept them from him. He thinks Makoto may not be there yet—but the way he’s smiling in this moment, Rei believes he will be one day.

So he’ll wait for that day. For now, he touches his smiling mouth to Makoto’s, kisses him for moments long and sweet and sweeter still.


End file.
